iCouldn't Save You
by BoxOfTrinkets
Summary: He doesn't love her. He hates her. Sequel to iCant save you.


He doesn't love her. He hates her. He hates the way she dances, the way she moves. He hates the way she dances with her brunette friend. He hates the way she gulps down beer after beer and the way her long blonde curls fly in every direction when she throws her head back and laughs her high melodic laugh. He hates the way the brunette smiles at her like she deserves it. He seethes with rage when she smiles. He wants to scream when she takes another shot and shakes her ass for everyone watching. He hates how fucking happy she looks. She doesn't deserve to be happy. She didn't deserve the brunettes smile. She didn't deserve to be here. He hates how beautiful she looks even though she's completely shit faced and he hates that he finds her beautiful. He sips his own drink and glares as she dances. She dances so naturally. Her thin body swims through the crowd and moves as though it was made for this. He hates her so much.

She notices him glaring and waltzes over, a beer in her hand and a smirk on her mouth. Her blue eyes glimmer seductively and she's on his lap. Grinding and moving on him and throwing her hair all over him. He doesn't move. He meets her eyes with his angry brown ones and she doesn't break the eye contact, just keeps on dry humping him on his chair while the crowded room chants her name and for the first time the brunettes smile slips slightly. She grins at him and he hates her. She catches the gleam of hate in his eyes and she stops grinning and for a split second she looks like her again. Pain flashes over his face, and she sees it. And the hate comes rushing back and he thinks he's going to throw up. And she knows he hates her. And the grin is back and she moves on him again and she calls something out to the crowd that's chanting her name and it sounds all wrong and he has had enough. He grabs her thin and fragile shoulders and roughly shoves her body off of his and in her shocked expression he sees another flash of her and the pain is back and the hate is dissolving. He pulls her up and leads her from the room. She follows willingly.

He pulls her into the dark room and locks the door. He pushes her roughly onto the bed and she pulls him down just as roughly. They both need this. He yanks her clothes off and doesn't care when she calls out in pain just as she doesn't care when he murmurs her name and she knows he doesn't love her. He fucks her hard and ignores her tears and cries of pain or discomfort and the feeling of her nails as they trace paths down the skin of his back. She moves with him and doesn't care that he hates her because for the time being she hates herself for doing this to her. He thrusts into her rudely and he can't be bothered to be gentle. He calls out her name louder and louder and they sweat and he tangles his fingers in her blonde hair and he wants to pull to hear her cry so he'll know she feels the pain he feels. For the first time he looks down at her and her eyes are closed and her face is wet and she looks like her and the pain is back and he comes. Screaming her name and she arches against him and they both move away from each other and sob into their hands on opposite ends of the bed.

He cries long and hard even after she pulls her clothes back on and slips silently from the room. He cries and screams her name into his hands and doesn't care how loud he is because no one can hear him. The music is loud in his ears and he is glad he can't hear his own thoughts. He slowly pulls his clothes on and curls up on the bed and his arms ache for her again. He lays there and cries until the music stops and it gets quiet and the door opens softly and the brunette is here and she silently pulls him into her arms and holds him. He cries into her long dark hair and she holds him tightly against her and does her best to not let him see her face because she doesn't want him to see her tears and she wants to be strong for him. He cries her name and curses himself for being so _fucking stupid. _She holds him and runs her shaking fingers through his hair and fights the sobs building up in her throat.

She whispers softly that she loves her too and it hurts her when he cries that he hates her. She lets him sob into her until he grows quiet and his shuddering shoulders begin to droop from exhaustion and grief and he looks like he just doesn't have the will to be alive anymore. She lays him down and strokes his hair off his sweaty forehead and the tears keep coming and she whispers that she knows he loves her and he doesn't hate her and it wasn't his fault. He mumbles incoherently and tries to tell her everything and he thinks she understands because the tears flow freely down her face now and she continually whispers that it wasn't his fault. He asks where she went and she whispers that she went home and to please stop doing this with her because it was only hurting him more and he hates her again and she cries. He sits up and turns to the brunette.

"I need this Carly." He tells her in a broken whisper.

"No you don't Freddie." She answers tearfully. "This is unhealthy and it's only hurting both of you."

"I need her. I need to keep hating her." He insists.

"You need to stop hating her because she's alive and Sam's not." She told him, her voice breaking and she chokes on a fresh batch of tears toward the end of her sentence. "And you need to stop this. You need to stop having sex with Melanie." she sobs. "It isn't going to bring her back."

"I need this Carls." he repeated desperately. "I need to hate her so I won't hate myself."

"It wasn't your fault Freddie." She murmured.

"I couldn't save her." He moaned. "She came to me time and time again and I still couldn't _fucking_ save her!" he yells into his hands.

"It wasn't your fault!" she grabs his face in her hands and screams at him. "It wasn't you Freddie. No one knew. She didn't tell anyone about what she was going through or the cuts . I know you loved her and you know she loved you but you cant blame this on yourself" she adds in a softer tone. "it wasn't your fault she killed herself Freddie.." she breaks down and cries again and she pulls him back to her and they sob like children and his heart breaks just like it does every second of every minute of every day. Her words are pretty but he knows there lies and he knows what she's thinking and she knows he knew and he hates himself. It was his fault. He wasn't strong enough.

He couldn't save Sam.


End file.
